DAY 5: Stop verbal/emotional abuse

Sorry that day 5 came so late, this weekend was a doozy with camping in back yard with kids and their friends…was a good time with dancing and karaoke all night long then family birthday parties…whoa!! long weekend!.

So here is day 5 in my fight against verbal/emotional abuse.

  1. Invalidating their feelings.
  2. Laying undeserved guilt on them.
  3. Dominating the conversations.
  4. Refusing to apologize.
  5. Always needing to have the last word.

Examples:  My step-daughter was in tears one night when her mother called on her cell phone and didn’t even take a moment to speak to her, instead asked for my step-son.  When my step-son pushed the phone upon her and her mother asked why she was crying she said “well because you haven’t even talked to me or tried in a while and you called my phone and didn’t even take time for me.”  Mother responded with “Well it is you Alyssa.  It’s not me, you are the one that seems to be busy with sports and your other family you don’t want to take time for me, so why should I take the time if you can’t!”  Step-daughter apologized for being busy.  I know this one seems harmless, but as a parent it is no the child’s place to put the effort first.  Instead of apologizing for making her feel the way she did she put the blame on my step-daughter.

Dominating several conversation and having last word happens all the time with my step-kids.  Mother gets mad and she continues to text and text and text.  She even does this to my other half.  If she doesn’t like the answer or things don’t go her way she tends to continue for an hour or two with ugly comments to him such as, “your such a bad dad” “Oh great parenting” “your wife trying to be a good mother again when you know she can’t, I’m their only mom.” then it continues for hours, sad thing is that our 8 year old sees the messages because that’s the phone she calls him on and it saddens him and angers him.

If you read day 4 blog you will see the person never apologizes and that’s just one of many times.

So till tomorrow keep up the fight against verbal/emotional abuse.

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